Why would I?
by yaoiskylight
Summary: Souichi can't come to terms with what's happening. Morinaga hasn't been saying I love you as much as he use to. Will Souichi finally realize he loves Morinaga? Why isn't his lovable Kouhai being as affectionate as he use to be?
1. Why am i thinking this?

LEMON WARNING!... im pretty sure lemon means sex…. If im wrong then please correct me! So I hope you all like smexyness, because that's what your gonna get!... unless im bad at this…. Then sorry for wasting your time…sadness.

So this chapter is through Souichis eyes, maybe the next one will be Morinaga.

And no I don't own Koisuru Boukun, if I did this would be drawn….. and there would be a lot more competitors for Morinaga, forcing Souichi to say he loves him! (in some form)

Summary: Souichi just cant come to terms with whats happening. And Morinaga hasn't been saying I love you as much as he use to. Will Souichi finally realize he loves Morinaga? Why isn't the lovable Kouhai being as affectionate as he use to?

...

_Why Would I? __Chapter 1_

"_Mmn…. Ah… Mor..aga…..wait!"_ Souichi managed to say through Morinaga's constant kisses up and down his pale white skin.

'_**Degradingly, this happens once a week, but the most aggravating thing is…'**_

"_Why? I love the sounds you're making-"_ The taller man licked and nibbled on the elders ear, which initiated a slight moan. "- its so intoxicating."

' _**I cant make him stop!'**_

As he thrust into him again and again, Souichi felt the urge to kill his kouhai rising, but he couldn't even say a proper sentence, let alone raise his fist.

In an attempt to smother his moans Souichi covered his mouth. The younger saw this through the corner of his eye, taking ahold of the blushing mans length, and started pumping at the same pace as his own thrusts.

"_AH! W…..wait… not at the.. ah…. same_-" unable to hold back Souichi lost control. He couldn't think clearly, the sensation of Morinaga sliding in and out while being pumped was too much.

"_Sempai…. Can I…. come in you?….mmn."_ Morinaga asked between thrusts.

"_WHAT? NO-mah…. nah… don't move…when I talk!"_ The blond tried to say angrily between the gasps and moans.

'_**And he-'**_

"_Why-" _Morinaga moved in close and whispered in his sempai's ear._ "-you know you like it."_

'_**- thinks I like this!'**_

Not wanting to lose to Morinaga, Souichi always held out until the last moment, but he almost came just from that thought, but of course he was never going to admit defeat!

"_Baka I-"_ Thrust _" don't..-"_ Thrust, pump _" li…ke…ah-" _

'_**I mean… sometimes its good….-'**_

"_it…"_ the last word was like a whisper, Souichi knew he couldn't hold out for long, this guy knew what he was doing. But the blond could also tell Morinaga couldn't holdout much longer, with each thrust he got bigger and bigger.

'_**WAIT! What am I thinking? Of course it isn't good! I'm just tired…yah… I mean who wouldn't be tired after a day of work, then being attacked by your Kouhai? Anyone would be.'**_

Annoyingly this made Souichi moan louder and long, which was embarrassing enough as it was; worse he was naked under a younger MAN! Fail? Yes

Wanting to end it, Souichi tightened around Morinagas manhood.

"_Ah-"_ Morinaga flinched and became a few shades redder. _"Souichi…. So good…"_

Shocked the older man's eyes widened _**'Souichi? I never told that horny bastard he could say my first na-' **_ Souichi's thought process was cut off from the semes quickened pace.

Moans and curses, mostly Souichi's, filled the apartment as both of the men built to their climax.

/

_**'Fucking bastard' **_Souichi thought later while turning on the shower, _**'I told him not to come inside, but of course he doesn't listen to me. He just ravishes my body and falls asleep like a satisfied cat.'**_ Distracted by his thoughts the blond walked into the falling liquid flames. He hissed, jumped out, and cranked up the cold. Making sure he hadn't get burnt, Souichi checked his body._** 'At least he didn't leave hickeys this time.'**_

'_**Maybe he doesn't want to mark you anymore.'**_ His inner voice said annoyingly. Souichi always hated this voice, it always said things he didn't want to hear.

'_**So? That's great. Those things are fucking embarrassing, I can't change in and out of my lab cloths without being bombarded with questions "Who is she? Is she cute? How often do you do it?" on and on!'**_ Now back in the shower he rested his hand against the cerulean blue tile covered wall and rinsed the shampoo out of his long blond hair.

'_**But if he doesn't mark you he may not want you anymore-'**_ The other said as soapy water ran down Souichis white hips and thighs.

'_**When was the lastt time he said he loved you?'**_

'_**Well….. didn't he just say it...no….. I don't remember! Why would I want a homo to say that to me?... he just says it…..'**_ Confused with himself Souichi watched the bubbles go down the drain.

'_**What's your relationship with that guy anyways?'**_

'_**You know! We just live togeth-'**_

'_**No, do people who just live together have sex?'**_

'_**Well he forces me!'**_

'_**If he forces you, why don't you move out or turn him into the police?'**_

'_**Cuz-'**_

'_**Cuz he's not forcing you. So if you're not lovers, what are you?'**_

'_**We-'**_ Starting to shake with rage, he clenched his hands into fists. Which, in turn, scraped some of the plaster off of the tile.

'_**If he means nothing to you, and you mean nothing to him, doesn't that make you-'**_

'_**Don't say it!'**_

'_**Sex friends? That means he can easily leave you for someone else…'**_

"_SHUT UP!"_ The loud echo of his screech was enough to scare himself to the point where he almost fell. Rebuffing, the man took his white towel with a S emblem on it, and dried his long hair. Seeing if the coast was clear, he ran to his room, locked the door, and turned on the tv, not wanting to hear his own thoughts. Stuffing his head into the pillow, Souichi slowly fell asleep with sounds of car chases and thoughts of how to kill that dark haired homo.

...

So hope you guys like it so far! (you probably do because you read it to the end. Or you read it so you can be a troll and say "that's gay!" And if you do all say "that's right! Its YAOI!")

There wont be a next chapter until people comment, cuz I wont know if I should extend this one or just stop altogether.

So if you liked it shout it out!... and then realize you shouted in your house for no reason… then your embarrassed, so you type it instead.

You: 0

Excitement: 1


	2. what does that mean?

YAY! as you can see, its a new chapter! sorry its kinda short, but it just felt... right to end it where i ended it. sooo... have fun!

**XxxxXxxxXxxx**

_chapter 2_

'Should I…. ask?' Souichi asked himself. At 6 a.m he was sitting on the 3 person couch, legs crossed over the left side cushion, drinking coffee and pretending to read the newspaper, Souichi watched Morinaga rushing around the kitchen. Putting his half empty cup down, Souichi turned so he could lie lengthwise. Bringing his knees to his chest and rapping his arms around his longer limbs, Souichi grabbed his newspaper/cover. Not knowing how to start a conversation, mostly because Morinaga would just start blabbing the second he saw him, Souichi asked _"so…. Where do you…. Go?"_

Supersized that his sempai actually started a conversation with him, Morinaga replied happily, _" Wow sempai, I'm glad you actually started the conversation with me first this time…"_ scratching his head with a smile as he finished his statement, Morinaga looked over at Souichi, who covered most of his face with his knees. Just from his eyes you could tell he was slightly angered but embarrassed.

"_Well…. It was quiet… and I want to know where… homos go… so I don't accidentally catch you're …. disease!" _Souichi thought saying that would throw any questions Morinaga had out the door, but by this time the younger man knew how his sempai acted.

Smirking, Morinaga let the comment go, and replied_, " Yes, yes. Hmmm… I don't really go anywhere… I always rush home to you so we can-"_ Feeling a chill down his spine, Morinaga looked up from the dishes and saw another Death to all homo's stare. Coughing , he skipped the last part, _"… I do go to the bar every once'n a while. But that's mostly it."_

_The bar_ was the only thing Souichi bothered to hears, if he was a dog, his ears would have perked up at the two words.

"…_. What do you do?"_ Souichi asked while burring his head deeper into his knees to avoid eye contact.

'Something's….. weird about him today. Why does he care? I mean…. I like the attention, but…..' Morinaga thought when he saw Souichi burry his head.

"_We mostly just….. drink." _ '…and talk about you. If I say that, I don't know how many times Ill get beaten.'

"_Oh ok."_ Not to be suspicious, Souichi didn't continue with his questions. 'What does he mean we? Who is this other person? A girl….. a boy? Why did he pause…..what's he really doing there?' The last thought hurt more than the others.

Mumbling to himself, Souichi turned to the next page, eyes widening, he read the same thing over and over again, to make sure he wasn't going crazy.

**Gay marriage legalized! After a petition, and 200,000 signatures signed….**

'WHAT!' Bolting up, Souichi gawked at the paper in disbelief. 'How could Japan do this? First America, and now us!'

"_Sempai? What's wrong?"_ Looking over, Souichi saw his kahoni walking over. Panicking he quickly came up with a believable lie.

"_The damn bastard's raised the tax on cigarettes again!"_ He angrily sat down and turned the page, tarring the top right corner off. Once Morinaga went back to what he was doing, Souichi sighed. 'It would be less troublesome if he didn't know this. He'd drag me off to some church and force me to marry him!…. I think I'd have to kill myself…'

**XxxxXxxxXxxxXxxx**

The sounds of crashing test tubes filled the university, suddenly there was a loud yell, _"MORINAGA!"_

Slammed against the cabinet Morinaga rubbed his head, 'When I get hurt by someone else, he hates it, but he's fine with hurting me himself...? Why do I love him?-' looking up he saw his sempai blushing, shaking with rage. 'Oh yah… that's why.'

Sighing at his misfortune, he asked the one inevitable question, "_What did I do?"_

"_You know what you did! Don't touch me like that when we're working!"_ Souichi turned away, still blushing. Bending over slightly, Souichi rested on the lab table, looking at some broken beakers. 'Shit. They were good samples too.'

Walking towards the disgruntled Souichi, Morinaga said, _"So… when we're not working, it's ok for me to touch you….?"_ About to grab him, Morinaga went in for the kill. Interrupted by getting kneed in the face, Morinaga twitched on the floor.

"_What. Did. I. just. Say?"_ Souichi asked while clenching his fist.

"_To not… touch you….at work but, aren't we done?" _Morinaga muttered, still twitching. Still angry Souichi looked around and realized the idiot was right, all the test tubes were washed, put away with the burners, and all the other things were put away and cleaned.

"_Well… were still at school!" _Souichi tried to support his reasoning, but knew he was losing, he only had one more…. desperate trick up his sleeve.

"_So… when we get home can we-" _

"_No! I have two papers to write and-"_ Unleashing his ultimate excuse, Souichi continued _"you…. were to… rough last time… it still hurts… idiot!"_ By this time Souichi knew exactly what to do to get out of sex, but was always ashamed that he had to go this far. He added a blush and that voice he does when he's embarrassed, he was discussed with himself, but it had a 70% chance of working, and that's better then nothing.

Morinaga blushed and said _"oh….ok…-"_

'VICTORY!' Souichi thought proudly.

"_I guess ill just go to the bar tonight… ill be home at around 11 sempai."_

'Bar?... why is he going there?' Souichi thought, remembering there conversation that morning.

"_Wait! Morinaga!"_ Souichi unconsciously said.

"… _yah sempai?"_ Morinaga replied questionably as he stopped at the door.

"… _never mind…"_ Souichi said softly, forgetting why he even called out to the dark haired man.

"_ok…if your sure. Im off."_ Morinaga left just before Souichi thought. 'Like hell you are.'

**XxxxxXxxxxxXxxxxx**

'Where the hell is this place?' Souichi thought to himself as he staked Morinaga.

'Didn't he say he's going to a bar? Is there really one all the way out here?' Following the dark haired man around a corner, Souichi was about to go home when he saw Morinaga turn into a building.

After he was sure his kohai was inside the building, Souichi ran up to read the sign.

**Gay Bar~ ADAMSITE~**

'Wah? Why is he in a gay bar?... well he is gay… but….'

'He's just not satisfied with you.' Oh, how he hated his inner voice.

'H…He's just going in for a drink!'

'Oh! How do you know that? Are you sure he isn't meeting someone?' Instantly, Souichi thought about how Morinaga hasn't been as… loving as he use to be.

'I… I'll prove it!' Angry, Souichi stormed into the bar.

**_XxxxXxxxXxxx_**

so how much did you love it? or hate it? *cries inside*

legalizing gay marriage, i coulda had souichi pass out... from stress, but decided to go with anger. ROAR!

so I'll try to get a new chap. in every other Wednesday, and if i don't... well to bad... did that sound mean? i didnt mean to make it sound mean it was suppose to be sarcastic!... does that sound weird, having two means with different definitions in the same sentence? im pretty sure i just broke a law... OH WELL!... sorry for my randomness.


	3. Why do my thoughts control me so?

_**Haha Sorry it took a while to get out this chap. but hey, at least its hear know, and its long this time!**_

Chapter 3

Sliding into the bar at a full bore run Souichi screeched to a stop, luckily no one had noticed him over the sounds of their own conversations.

**'Lucky me... wait... Im... in a...'** Realizing he was in a gay bar, Souichi was about to beat the pulp out of the next guy who passed him, but was interrupted when he spotted Morinaga. Remembering his mission, Souichi recovered his mortality and walked over to a booth where he could see Morinaga, but the pray couldn't see him.

_"Isn't it amazing?"_ The bartender said enthusiast.

_"What is...? the Giants winning the world series!"_ Morinaga said innocently.

_"... I never understand why you watch sports... well American ones at least... can you even understand what there saying?"_

_"Yah they translate it!"_

_"Oh cool...No! I'm talking about the legalization of gay marriage!"_ He proclaimed jumping in his spot.

_"What? No way. Sempai would have exploded, run down to the senate and be arrested for mass murder." _He said tiredly, resting on his arm.

_"Well that may be true..."_ Pulling out a newspaper form underneath his cabinet_, "But look at those apples!"_

Lip-reading, Souichi was sure the bartender said, 'look at the nappal' but knew that wasn't rational. Discarding the thought, he saw his favorite newspaper... the same one he read that morning.

**'Fuck, and I was trying to keep it from him too...! Well this is a gay bar... I'm surprised that their isn't a party going on right know... I've really become too tolerant these days. a few months ago I would have ran into the senate and-'** Going over his use to be plans in his mind, Souichi watched Morinaga read the paper. The first time he looked astonished, then blinked a few times, rubbed his eyes, and read the paper again.

Trembling a bit Morinaga reread the paper at least 4 times before looking up at his friend, who had a accomplished smile on his face. Grabbing Morinaga's hand, he said _"See? I told you."_

Souichi flinched as he saw the strange man grab **his** kahoni's hand. **'Haha, okay let go know, you got your point across you gay ba-"** His thought was cut off as he watched Morinaga leap up and hug the man over the counter.

'**Its not that great is it…well he's drunk… 6 shots would do me in…'** He watched them talk for a few minutes, when the chestnut haired man pointed to his left cheek. Souichi saw something he never wanted to see, Morinaga kissing another man. It was only on the cheek, if that happened to Souichi he'd beat the man half to death, but Morinaga looked so happy when he did it. This made the only strait man in the bar stand up and walk out.

XxxxxXxxxxXxxxx

'**W…what was that about?'** Souichi thought, stomping threw the town.

'**Wow. Your really thick headed.'** The inner voice chimed in.

'**Wa'dya mean?' **

'**Its kinda obvious… he's cheating on you… well no, not really, your only sex friends, so I guess you're the candy on the side-' **

'**SHUT UP! No, it was just a… a thank you kiss!'** Angerly he stomped up the stares of the apartment.

'**How often do guys give people thank you kisses?'**

'**Not very… but he embarrasses American stuff…**' Opening the door, Souichi walked in.

'**Give it up. He's tired of you. I can see why, the buys been in love with you how long… 6, 7 years? I would have given up after a week. And you haven't even said something close to 'I love you' back, let along 'I like you.'**

'**Well I didn't want to! Why would I say something like that? I would never say 'I like you' to a guy! Anyways, I haven't even said 'I love you' to anyone besides my family.**' Grabbing a bear out of the fridge he slammed it onto the counter and opened it, watching the fuzz escape.

'**Then why do you care what he does, 'so what if he goes off and hooks up with another guy? Hell he should invite me to the wedding!' is what you should be thinking if you really meant that.'**

'**Fuck off; I'm done talking to you!'** Chugging another sip of the satisfying alcohol.

'… **Do you realize how stupid you just sounded? I'm you, just a smarter, gets to the point, and more realistic you.'** He said in a sarcastic voice.

'**You're so full of yourself.'** Realizing he needed more, Souichi traveled over the fridge to get some more.

'**Yes, yes you are.'**

XxxxxXxxxxXxxxx

Morinaga strolled down the street with a happy buzz, hell, he was drunk**. 'Home, home, home. Home to sempai. Mmmmm im happy I can actually call it home, living with sempai… pie... Mmmm Lemon meringue pie.'** Taking out the key's to the twos apartment, the man clumsily opened the door. 'SEMPAIIII! Im hoomeeeeeee!' he exclaimed upon entering, flopping his shoes down at the entrance of the household.

When there was no response Morinaga got worried, **'What if he ran off? What if he got sick of me and ran off with someone else?' **The thought scared the student enough to make him stumble at the quickened pace to the living room, where luckily, the love of his life was.

"_Sempaiiii! I was woriiiiied! Why didn't you answer meeee?"_ The upset man wined, swaying over to the couch.

A scoff was all Morinaga got for a reply. Crossing his arms and folding his legs atop each other the frustrated man thought**, 'Why was he out so late? Psh, its obvious, why do I even ask these things? He was soooo happy with his little bartender… fucking homos. I'm so angry I'm gonna cry… with anger.'** The last statement was a lie, Souichi was afraid Morinaga cheated on him, to the point his fear became sadness, but he didn't realize this, or did realize and decided to ignore the fact. Also the amount of alcohol he consumed in the past few hours alone at home didn't help his rationality.

Asking the dared question, _"So, why out so late? Helping another drunk bum_?" Souichi said with a slur.

"_No, I promised I wouldn't do that anymore remember…. I was just at the bar sempai… my friend and I were taking and just… lost track of time."_

"_How much did you drink? Are you ever gonna be able to get up tomorrow...?"_

"_Tomorrows a holiday… so I have all day to recover…-"_

Morinaga started to take a better look at his sempai, who was very exposed only wearing a robe and boxers, the mans sleeve was close to draping off his shoulder. The cloth belt was loosely tied, allowing the robe to expose the upper part of his abdomen. He would have been cold if it wasn't for the amount of beer he drank, insinuated by the empty cans on the coffee table, and the slight tint of pink on his face.

"_-so would you."_ he said seductively, clumsily making his way over to his attractive friend.

"_Idiot! I know that look on your face!"_ Souichi mumbled angrily, pointing his finger at the perpetrator.

"_So quick sempai… then you know what im intending to do?"_ Morinaga said as he made it to the couch, extending his arm the black haired man stroked Souichis cheek.

Souichi flinched a bit when he felt Morinagas cold hand hit his cheek. Unable to come up with an answer quick enough, Souichi felt moist lips touch his own.

Initiating a kiss Morinaga was happy to see that Souichi didn't struggle, **'That means he's getting use to it right? Or he's just really drunk…'** Betting on the second choice, Morinaga rummaged around in his sempai's mouth, looking for the sensitive spot he knew was there. After a minute or two of sucking on his tongue, Souichi's breath became raged and he emitted slight moans.

'**Shit… why do I always do this? I'm mad at him… but I cant stop myself… he's just good at it, that's all.'** Souichi thought as Morinaga continued to kiss him, starting to run his hands along Souichi's neck, which caused his breath to hitch.

'**Yah, he's probably had a lot of practice with that bartender.-'** The dreaded voice in Souichi's subconscious stated. **'that's probably why he stayed out so late, he only gets it when your in a good mood, so he should take every chance he has, with or without you right? Are you gonna let him get away with that?'**

'**Like hell I am!'** As testosterone flooded threw Souichis body, the urge of reproduction and dominance started to overtake his mind. Wrapping his arms around Morinaga's back, he drew the man in for a deeper kiss, starting to take the lead. Leading his hand up and down Morinaga's waist, he slowly slipped his hand underneath the previous attackers shirt.

'**Woah… This hasn't happened before, there was that one time after the fire in the motel room, but he wasn't this motivated… I kinda like it.' **

Morinaga separated from the kiss to get air, but the unpleased Souichi decided to give back every bit of 'misfortune' the man had caused him over the time this 'deal' had started. Trailing his lips down to the tape of Morinagas neck, Souichi started to suck on the delicate flesh.

"_Maah… Sem…pai_." Morinaga moaned, unready for the advancement.

'**Muhahaha! Cry for me bitch! This is what you get!'** Souichi proclaimed in his personal domain.

After a few more kisses and hickeys, cloths started to shed off until there was nothing left but underwear. Looking at Moinaga's body, Souichi became curious of how his idiot would react to a little breast play**. 'He does it to me all the time… and its reeeeaalllyyyy embarrassing! Ha! All do the same thing to him! There are so many ways to embarrass people once you've been threw it yourself!'** Not realizing he diminished himself, Souichi started to move toward his new goal.

Souichi was bright red from the mixture of beer and arousal, eyes sparkling in the semi-dark room, and a slight drip of liquid trailed out of his mouth was breathtaking. To entranced by Souichi's appearance, Morinaga didn't realized the same persons advancement toward his chest.

Morinaga gasped as Souichi flicked his erect nipple, pleased with the reaction, Souichi continued playing with the area until Morinaga became fed up and wanted to retake control. He enjoyed this of course, but would much rather see Souichi in the position he was currently in. Brushing Souichi's excitement stopped the play immediately.

Hitching his breath, Souichi shook as Morinaga stroked his manhood over the annoying layer of clothing.

"_Wait…no…sto- ah!"_ Was all he could say before the seme slipped his palm inside Souichis boxers.

Stroking Souichi lightly, he touched the blonds shaft, sending electric currents threw the uke's body. Lying Souichi down on the couch, Morinaga slid off Souichi's boxers and pumped harder. Leaning down, Morinaga sucked on Souichi's upper clavicle.

'**Fu…ck. I'm losing… it again.'** Extending his neck, Souichi nibbled and licked around Morinagas ear, tracing his arms up from the youngest back to his head, he stroked the black locks.

Once Souichi came, he shuddered and collapsed back on the couch, waiting for just the right moment to take back control. When Morinaga looked down to take off his own boxers Souichi leaped at the chance.

All Morinaga felt was being tripped, more like pushed down onto the couch where his sempai had previously been.

Sweating, Souichi's body was urging to start, unsatisfied with the hand job he wanted more, but would never say it. Feeling Souichi start to mount him, Morinaga saw something he never thought Souichi would do in a thousand years, ride him. _"Remember... i only do this with you!"_

_"Yes yes sempai, because im special right?_" Morinaga scoffed in a sarcastic manner, and received a grimacing look before they continued.

Knees and hands resting on the cushions, Souichi contemplated what he was doing. **'wait… how do I do this… that's never gonna fit in hear without it being stretched, and im definitely not doing that in front of him.' **

As if Morinaga could read Souichi's thoughts, he licked his index and middle finger on his right hand just enough to be moist and trailed his fingers to Souichi's opening. After a few minutes of finger thrusts, multiplying from 1 to 3, Souichi was ready to take on the task at hand.

Positioning himself, Souichi slowly slid down onto Morinaga's member, once the head entered, he gasped slightly, but continued non the less.

All the way in, Morinaga embraced the feeling of being inside his beloved. Becoming a few shades redder, he waited until Souichi moved, insinuating that the uke was ready.

Sliding back and forth, Souichi realized how different it was to be in control, you wanted to keep moving, but the sensation starts to overtake you every time you do move, making you slowdown. Becoming use to the new sensation, Souichi sped up, wanting to make Morinaga scream for him.

_"Ah! Sem…pai. Slow dow-"_ Not lessening, Souichi tightened and stayed at the progressive speed. Wanting to cum, Souichi grabbed his length and pumped vigorously. Eco's of their moans and gasps vibrated threw the room as the two came to their own climax's.

XxxxxXxxxxXxxxx

_**Yay! more sex! its a little late, but WARNING LEMON!**_

_**and i know some of you are saying, 'dude... Souichi would never do that!' but let me tell you, he was reeeeaaaalllyyyy drunk. i mean,, revert back to primal urges drunk, and with the combination of his jealousy: this shit happened.**_

_**also in my science class today they retouched on hormones and how they control your sex-drive, so that helped me write that one part. little biology for ya!  
**_

_**So, did ya'll like it? i have a nice little surprise in store for next chapie that will agitate Souichis jealously more! MUAHAHAH! so evil.**_


	4. What should i do?

_**Incase you go, 'Who the fuck is this bastard, NEW THINGS MAKE ME CONFUSED AND AFRAID!' (I know most wouldn't actually think that… its just funny.) Sonoha is Souichi's inner voice, it just became annoying to type it.**_

_**Sono from other (which is Sonotan) and ha from half (which is actually habun… but that's kinda weird… sounds like your saying 'Hi bun! How was your day?')**_

_**So this chapter is kinda… long. But that's good right? No? Well to bad.**_

Chapter 4

**'Shit...'** Souichi thought, sitting up, he looked over at the man who was lying with him on the two person bed.

**'...Two rounds after, so that means three, right? He's definitely had his once a week... for the next few weeks.' **

Starting to get up, Souichi carefully slid off the bed, attempting to not wake Morinaga.

**'Why do i keep doing this? I'm starting to contradict myself...'**

**'The second you touched him… or he touched you for the first time you contradicted yourself.'** The voice entered the conversation.

**'Again, not my fault.**' Opening the door, he tip toed out of the room.

**'Uh, whatever... Man, even I'm starting to give up on ya. Baka.'** Sonoha scoffed, ashamed of his other half.

**'Che, wha'd ya mean 'baka'? Your the baka.' Walking into his own room, Souichi started to dress.**

**'Psh, yah right! You cant tell the man you love...that you love him, you wont realize you were jealous of Hiroto, and you wouldn't begin think you had sex with Morinaga because you wanted to make sure he was yours. I know all of this,, so i am smart. You shut it all away, thus you live in ignorance, which makes you a baka.'** Knowing he was smart, Sonoha teased Souichi into thinking he was stupid… mind games were always fun.

**'No... no... Well maybe you right... N-NO! That's my answer!'** He thought, starting to sway between sides.

**'If you keep going on like this-' the voice said fading away, '…Your gonna lose him to someone else.'**

**'Like hell I'm gonna lose him... I mean... so what if I lose him, doesn't matter either way.' **He thought, fully dressed he stood out on the balcony, smoking a cigarette.

XxxXxxxXxxxx

_'Did that really just happen? Of course it did... but why, could he really be in love with me?_' Morinaga was getting dressed, walked out of his room and into the kitchen_. 'I need to figure this out. This whole situation, no, everything about this is stressing me out.'_ His hand slightly shook as an indication of this.

The door bell echoed through the house_, 'Hu... wonder who that is...'_ Souichi thought in response.

_"Sempai! Can you get that?"_

_"Yah hold on."_ Putting out his cigarette, the blond walked over to the door. **'When'd he get up... man I'm really to relaxed, need to get my guard up.'**

Another ring shimmered across the walls_, "What?"_ was the only greeting the guest received as Souichi opened the door.

A semi- familiar face was there. The man was about Souichi's height, had chestnut hair, a narrow face, wearing a t-shirt, short jacket, and green jeans.

**'Hmm, so this is the sempai I've herd sooo much about... he's cute.' **Hiroto thought, shifting his weight to one side as he checked out the other man.

**'What's this bastard dong here?**' Souichi thought angrily, and showed it three times over with his expression.

_"Yo, is Morinaga here?" _He asked with a smile.

_"Um... yah... hold on..."_ Souichi turned and started to close the door.

Stopping this action, Hiroto caught the door, _"Well aren't you gonna invite me in?"_ He asked annoyingly as possible, just to see the reaction.

_"You little-!"_ Right before Souichi started to destroy Hiroto's face, Morinaga jumped in.

_"Oi Oi Oi sempai, calm down. Hey, what's up?" _He asked, leading his friend inside the apartment.

_"Oh-!"_ Directing the question to Souichi, _"can you go pick this stuff up from the store? I forgot to get it when I was out yesterday... " _

Morinaga grabbed a piece of paper, wrote a few things down, and handed it to his 'lover' with a pleading look.

Not able to say no to 'that' face, the one he lost his pride to many times, Souichi grunted, grabbed the sheet, and angrily walked out the door.

_"Sorry about him, he doesn't really... react well to my friends... mostly because their all_-" Coughing, Morinaga started imitating Souichi's voice, _"'Disgusting faggots'." _He explained, bringing coffee to the bartender sitting on the couch.

_"I see... Okay, you wanna know why I'm here?"_ He asked with a cheerful voice.

_"Yes, that would be nice."_ Morinaga chuckled and sipped some of the warm liquid.

_"After listening to you for the past few years, I just... think you should be clear with him, put everything on the line!"_ He raised his fist with excitement.

_"... What do you mean?"_ Morinaga questionably asked.

_"You need to know how he really feels, he always says 'I don't know' right? If you don't make your relationship clear, you'll be going after him for the rest of you life, and I don't want to see your love be wasted on a man who doesn't appreciate it."_

_"I know, I know... It's… just hard."_

_"Of course it's hard, its love after all."_ Hiroto comfortingly placed his hand on Morinaga's shoulder.

_"Yah... I just don't know... how to."_

"_Tonight… just ask him… something like, 'Do you love me? Be honest, because this is the last time I'm gonna ask.' That'll drive him into a corner. But… you should really just say what you think feels right."_

"_A-alright…"_ Morinaga was slightly shaking, and Hiroto caught this action.

"_Hey, don't be afraid. If he doesn't love you, you might as well not waist your time right? It's already been 6ish years right? If he rejects you again, find a new lover and get on with your life. It's time to stop going down the same road every day."_

"_Your right… I just don't know what I'll do after."_

"_You'll think of something, hey, you could even stay at my place." _

"_Thanks Hiroto, for all your help." _

The two smiled, and started with another conversation.

XxxxXxxxXxxxXxxx

'**Go get groceries Souichi.'** The angered man thought in a mocking voice.

'**Shit. Why did I have to leave? We don't really even need this crap. It was his friend, if they wanted to talk alone, THEY should have left… Why'd he come over anyway.. I don't think Morinaga would have kicked me out if it wasn't important… Shit, why does this bug me so much?'**

'**Wad' ya think dipshit? You just met the other girlfriend… boyfriend I mean.'**

'**Nah… he's not Morinaga's type.'**

'**Then who's his type?'**

Silence

Sonoha thought to himself, **'Fucken… doesn't answer me when I ask him shit… TRYING to help him here…'**

**'YOU'RE his type….idiot. So who's your type?' **He said, allowing Souichi to hear.

With more than a 10 second pause, Souichi answered, **'Women.'**

The 'wrong answer' buzzer on game shows when off in Souichi's head **'That took toooo long. Correct answer, Morinaga.'**

'**Whatever, we've gotten off topic anyway…'**

'**Oh, okay, then we'll talk about that. Yes, they made you leave because it was important, why? I don't know. He either came over to just talk about his day, or have se-'** Sonoha was cut off by Souichi's **'Oi!'** but he continued none the less. **'And again, It bugs you because you love him, and when your **_**amor* **_**gets hit on… you become jealous. So can you PLEASE just tell the idiot? If you don't things are seriously gonna go south.' **

'**Why would I tell him that?**' He thought to himself. Heart pumping, he walked down a familiar street with a slight blush.

'**Because you do, and it you don't he's gonna leave you eventually. How many times have I told you this?'**

'**That idiot? No way, he's to attached to leave me… right?'** Worried, he stopped for a second and sat down on a nearby bench.

'**He's already left once, and there was also that failed attempt. You really want that to happen again?'**

Remembering the loneliness those few weeks brought, Souichi clutched his pants, **'N-no. I don't.'**

'**Good. Then next time he asks. Cuz I know you wont just say it, tell 'im.'**

'**N… no promises.'**

XxxxXxxxXxxx

'**W.. what the hell is up with this atmosphere?'** The two were sitting on the familiar couch, eating teriyaki tuna, miso soup, and rice with a side of steamed vegetables, the normal every day thing. But… today something just wasn't right.

The TV was on, but the room felt… tense, it was too quiet. Normally Morinaga would be talking about… something, but he was quiet. Normally, this didn't happen, and when it did you could tell Morinaga was happy because he smiled. Usually Souichi appreciated the silence, hell, if he could he would have it like this every day. But now… Morinaga was just quiet… no smile no nothing, which made all the vibrant, comfortable colors in the room turn to grey's in Souichi's view.

'**Its so… uncomfortable in here, what's wrong with him? He's usually so happy.' **Finishing up the last bit of his meal, Souichi quietly said _'Gochisosama.*'_ and started to get up.

"_Wait!"_ Stopped mid-way by a tug, Souichi listened to the command and sat back down. And waited to hear what his kohai had to say.

Morinaga shook a bit, and looking strait into Souichi's eye's, he asked, _"Sempai… I have to ask you something… and you have to be completely honest, okay?"_

Unable to turn down the younger man, Souichi cooperated_, "… Okay?"_

"_And I mean it! No lying!" _

"_I get it! Just ask the damn question!" _

Pausing, he asked, _"… Do you love me?"_ Morinaga knew he had asked this question many times, but somehow today, it felt like it was the first time he asked.

'**Shit.'** Stunned, Souichi froze. That was the exact question he didn't want to hear today.

'**Tell 'em!' **

'**I… I don't want to.**' Stubbornly, Souichi rejected the command.

'**No. Your going to say it… I mean… its only one word. YES! That's all you have to say!'**

'…**No…. I don't want to…. And I don't event think I love him… I don't know.'**

'**No… don't you do it. You mother fucking white ass piece-!'**

"_Sempai?"_ Souichi was brought back to the real world by the sound of Morinaga's voice.

"_..o…"_ He whispered.

"_What?" _Morinaga couldn't hear the response.

"_I don't… know…"_

Morinaga slammed his fist onto the coffee table.

Souichi jumped, as he looked toward the sound, he saw an angry but slightly shaking Morinaga.

"_Are you sure-?"_ Morinaga quickly shifted. Facing Souichi, Morinaga's right arm flew across the left side of the blond's body and landed on the couch, trapping the man underneath.

"_Are you __sure__ sempai? Give me a __clear__ answer, yes or no."_ Morinaga's voice made not only Souichi's body shudder, but his soul as well. The man was terrifying, the only other time Souichi saw Morinaga go this out of control was the morning after they had sex, when they had fought. This was five times worse.

"_Sempai! I need you to tell me! Please!"_ Eyes clamped shut, voice booming, Morinaga's self control started to slip.

"_I told you! I don't kn-!"_ At the last word Morinaga slightly growled.

'**S-shit…. Wh-what the hell is wrong with him?'**

'**God damn it! Tell him!' **Sonoha yelled out of frustration.

'**N-Never!'**

Souichi launched forward_, "No! I don't okay? Are you happy now?"_ exclaiming his answer, then stopped, and prepared for a rebuttal. There was only silence.

After what seemed like hours, Moinaga slowly said, "Alright. Thank you for finally telling me the truth. Know… I can finally move on-." At that moment, Souichi saw something he never wanted to see. Morinaga had the saddest look on his face, but he still smiled, trying to pull off a calm disposition. He was the worst damn liar Souichi had ever known.

"_Thank you… Hey, I'm tierd… I'll turn in early today-"_ Souichi was still in shock over what he just saw as Morinaga walked away. As he neared his bedroom door, Morinaga slowly turned around, smiled and said, _"Night… __**Souichi.**__"_

As Morinaga closed the door, Souichi finally relaxed enough to think again.

'**S-Souichi! What the fuck man? Who ever said you could call me that…'** His heart started to hurt as he remembered his kohai's hurt expression. Looking down at his palm , he slowly moved his finger, watching them dance.

'… **what was with that face? He was so serious this time… It'll all blow over by the morning, just like it always does… right?'**

There wasn't the usual, annoying response, that Souichi had recently become use to.

'**Hey… that's weird… Sonoha usually chimes in right about know… Maybe I finally got rid of him… COOL!' **

Being the usual air head he always was, Souichi forgot about what he was just thinking, and happily ran off to his room.

XxxxxXxxxxXxxxxXxxxx

The next morning, Souichi woke up to something unusual, the house didn't… smell like morning, or simply, it didn't smell like food.

'**Lazy ass, we're gonna be late if he doesn't get started soon…' **Remembering last night's event, he continued with the thought, **'When we eat… I'll treat him like I usually do… cuz that always works.'**

After taking a shower, drying/brushing his hair, and getting dressed, Souichi realized something was really wrong, it had been 40 minutes, and Morinaga hadn't interrupted him once with his lovey-dovey crap.

Worried, Souichi walking into the kitchen to check on his roommate… but he wasn't there.

'**Okay, he's never this late with breakfast… maybe he's sick or something, better go check his room.' **Doing just that, Souichi walked over to the bedroom next to his and pounded on the door.

"_Hey! Wake up and make me food!" _

There was no response.

Less aggressive, actually, it was more like he sweetly asked _"Hey, Morinaga… did ya hear me?"_ Opening the door, Souichi stepped inside and froze. It was empty. All of Morinaga's things were gone.

XxxxXxxxXxxxXxxx

_**HOLY SHIT! MORINAGA LEFT! **_

_**What will happen to our beloved pair know?**_

_***Amor: Lover in Spanish. **_

_***Gochisosama: What you say after a meal, in English, its basically, 'thanks for the grub yo it was the nom nom nomiest!' (oh internet humor, I love you.)**_

_**And for the last announcement, I think this is gonna be rapped up in the next few chapter's, but if people want me to, I can also make a sequel. So if that's what ya want, speak up! ...bitch …. (jk)**_


	5. Life without you, should i just give up?

_**Chapter 5**_

"… No way." Frozen, Souichi stared at the empty room. It still had furniture and heavy items, but every one of Morinaga's personal touches to the room were gone.

Slightly shaking, Souichi lifted his hand and touched the doors edge. Sliding down the white wood, he collapsed.

"Why? Again the… he… he left again. He left me again…" Know, completely shaking, Souichi turned so his back rested against the wood, raised his hands, covered his face, and started to sob.

XxxxxXxxxXxxXx

Tears still evacuating his eyes, Morinaga whipped them away with a "Shit."

'_Where should I go?'_ While pondering the thought, Hiroto's voice came into his mind, _'If you need help… with anything, anything, just ask me.'_

'_Yah. Okay might as well, and… Souichi doesn't know where he lives, so he won't be able to find me.'_

His suitcase bumped across the pavement, slowly making a rhythm. Morinaga thought of a song, started humming, hoping it would make him… forget his problems for the moment. It didn't.

Walking into the bar, there was a jingle, letting everyone in the establishment know Morinaga arrived. The first to look over was Hiroto. At first he seemed happy, his friend had come to visit, but upon looking down, his mood changed. Morinaga saw his lips move to say, "Oh no."

He rushed over to comfort the depressed man. Bringing him to a bar seat, skillfully Hiroto got a quick drink handed it to Morinaga, and waited for the man to talk. After 5 minutes, Morinaga finally told him what happened. Of course Hiroto blamed himself for every thing but Morinaga just shook his head, put his hand on his friends shoulder, and with a tear streaming down his face said, "It… was gonna happen eventually, he… didn't love me. Thanks to you… I got out of it soon enough, before I was… completely devoured by him."

'_God. Even at a time like this… you're still trying to take care of others. What do you mean soon enough? You were already too deep. I've never seen you really cry before this. You poor, poor man.'_

"Hi, hi. You're not going to school tomorrow right? So have another drink or two, you'll be stay'n at my house for a bit." The bartender said reflecting Morinaga's actions, he placed his hand on the others shoulder.

Morinaga nodded yes in reply, taking another sip of the sought after liquid.

Hiroto sighed. _'Guess I'll be up all night, make'n sure this guy doesn't kill 'emself.' _

XxxxxXxxxXxxXx

After 40 minutes of just sitting on the floor, Souichi realized something, he hadn't checked the house yet… maybe he left something. Anything. Darting up, Souichi started diving through the rooms, leaving no book or cabinet unchecked. The last place he looked, after an hour, was the kitchen. _'Jesus Christ.'_ The swearing was appropriate this time, because on the counter was a piece of yellow paper with writing on it. _'Why didn't I look around first before moving all that stuff?'_

Walking up to the note, he saw Morinaga's handwriting, meaning it wasn't his.

'_Souichi, _

_I'm not leaving without telling you right? This note should suffice. I'm sorry to take off so suddenly… no I'm not. But this time… I'm not coming back. I've taken all my belongings, took my name off the rent, and school isn't a problem. Right know, your either wondering where I've gone, or your just hungry. If it was the first, I'm not telling you. You should have just let me leave before I… Anyway. Now that you've told me how you really feel, I can… move on. I'm giving up on you. _

_And if it was the second option, there is none. _

_Goodbye,_

_Morinaga'_

Around the middle of the letter there was a few dried tear spots, or just water, but it was obviously the previous option.

'_Let you leave before you what? Giving up on me? W-what… the fuck? Whad' ya mean how I really felt?'_ Again Souichi was shaking, half from anger, and the other from despair, abandonment, loneliness, the thoughts filled his mind. This was like when he lost his mother, but… so much worse.

'_Is this really worse than what happened to my mother? I mean she died… be she was in pain so it was okay…'_

'_But Morinaga just left. And it's worse than your mothers death because he didn't have to go. Think about how you would fell if he died._' Sonoha finally decided to talk, the man was just such a mess without him.

'_W-why would he die?'_

'_Come on, you know how drastic that guy is, right? He'll probably kill 'emself.'_ Tears started to flood down his face.

'_No… he's stronger than that… right? I mean… he had a lot of mental abuse from his family… and he's fine… something like this, wouldn't make him crack…'_

'_Dude… you are his world, at least… you were. If you had listened to me, this wouldn't be happening.' _

Lifting his face, he angrily thought, _'WHAT?'_

'_If you 'ad just told 'em you loved 'em, he'd be hear. With you.'_

'_I ALREADY KNOW THAT! Shit, I knew he was acting weird yesterday… but I thought he would brush it off….'_

'_You ran out of chances.'_

'_CAN YOU SAY SOMETHING… HELPFUL FOR ONCE!'_

'_I do, all the time. So what are you gonna do?'_

'_I… I don't know.'_

'_Hopeless dimwit.' _

'_Well… you can't blame the kid, he just lost the love of his life, only if 'ed spoken up. Idiot.'_ Sonoha thought to himself.

XxxxxXxxxXxxXx

"… Really, thanks for letting me stay here." Walking up a flight of stairs, the two men strolled over to an apartment door.

Taking his keys out of his pocket, facing the door Hiroto opened it, and turning his face, chestnut hair waved through the wind. "Don't worry about it… its not gonna be free. " Once he turned back, Morinaga swore he saw a shine in the mans eye.

"Whad ya mean?"

"… You'll find out later."

"Okay." Walking in, he smelt cinnamon and lilac.

The apartment was an exact opposite of Morinaga old apartment. Small, the kitchen was a stove, 1950's refrigerator, and a small two person table. The living room was a fold out couch, television and a slightly larger table with a rug underneath it. In the corner of these two connected rooms was a cabinet, filled with clothing. Not to mention the uncountable amount of garbage bags decorating the floor.

"… You… you want me to clean?"

"How rude… yah, I guess its a little… messy. But no, and again you'll find out later."

'_Hope he doesn't make me pay off his jokey bets. He really has the worst luck when it comes to those kinds of things… the expensive kind.'_

After dinner, a big clean up, and some television, the two started to get ready for bed.

"Hey Morinaga." Hiroto chimed.

"Hmm?"

"Time to pay up." Jumping over, he pushed Morinaga onto the fold out bed.

'W-what?'

"Haha, you look so confused-." Starting to lick his neck, Morinaga shivered, struggling a bit. "You want to forget your sempai… correct?"

Stunned, Morinaga laid there._ 'Wanted to forget?_' "I… I guess I do…"

"Good. Then just go with the flow, loose yourself."

* * *

"Ah! Morinaga… hurry up, I… want you inside me." Flipping Morinaga over, Hiroto started to straddle him.

'_This… wouldn't ever happen… with sempai… so this is for the best… right?'_

Grabbing his hips, Morinaga plunged himself inside the excited body.

"Ah! Mnnnh… yes… just like- Ah… 'at! I love… it hard. 'ake me scream!"

"Hah… Okay, if that's what you wish." Flipping the other over, Morinaga buried hands into the bed. "I'll do it as hard as you want."

'_This is… feels… weird. It's… not the same. Not the same as sempai… But, for now… I guess it'll do.'_

Repetitively thrusting, louder, more desperate moans filled he room.

'_I'll just have to go back to my old life… before I met sempai. My… wild, crazy, emotionless life-,'_

The temperature raised as their climax arrived.

'_Right sempai? Because… homo's… have no emotion, we're just abominations… of life. We… don't deserve what you strait people get; we are alone… alone.'_

"Wow… that was amazing, right?" Morinaga had pulled out, and after catching his breath, Hiroto started to talk.

"We should do this more often, don't cha' think?" Hiroto turned over to talk to his friend with a smile.

No response.

"Hey… Morinaga?"

Eyes. Soulless eyes was his response.

"Are… you okay? Was it so good you half passed out?" He was joking, but he thought the statement would lighten the mood. _'Did I… upset him or something?'_

Again no verbal response, only movement, towards Hiroto.

"W-what? You… ya wanna another round?" _'Why… is he being so… intimidating?'_

Morinaga tackled the man, making him overturn his previous statement, Morinaga was doing it to hard. For the second time in his life, the man had raped a friend.

XxxxxXxxxXxxXx

After a week, Souichi had devastated the apartment. Trash lay wherever it fell, and no food was in the refrigerator. The… man, you could call it, laid on the couch, next to a pile of take-out containers. The power hungry, over controlling, devil had become powerless, fearless.

He had been searching for Morinaga for the first two days he left, but after a nonstop search, there'd been no results.

"Nii-san? Are you home?" a knock at the door.

Tomoe had come over to visit, Kanako said she had called a multiple amount of times but Souichi wouldn't pick up, but she didn't have to time to go over. Tomoe had a few vacation days anyway, and was wondering how his brother was doing himself so he had headed over to check on him.

Knocking on the door, he received no answer.

'_Is he not home?'_ Turning the door knob unconsciously, it surprisingly opened.

'_W-what? This is sooo unsafe! I'm gonna nag his ear off when he gets home!'_

Walking in he saw something unexpected. A husk of a man, his brother.

"N… Nii-san?" Running over, he checked his sibling, making sure he wasn't dead. Luckily, it wasn't as he thought, the man was just asleep.

There was stubble around his face, hair like a rats nest, and his breath stank.

"Oh my god… What happened to you?"

'_And where's Morinaga?_'

After a cup of tea, Souichi was awake, more like conches, he would respond, but his soul wasn't in it… he acted like he was broken. Strangely, he picked the tea cup up with his left hand, not his right. Curious, Tomoe examined his brother closely, and saw a piece of yellow paper crammed between the fingers of his right hand.

"Okay Nii-san. I'm gonna ask you some questions, okay?"

"D-don't treat me like… I'm stupid."

'_Did I say you were stupid?'_ Once he had gotten his brother in order, Tomoe took a better look around. He saw there was less regular garbage and more empty alcohol bottles, there was also a half full one, on the counter next to his brother. Indicating that the man was probably drunk.

"Just drink the tea so ya sober up, you drunkard." Shoving the drink into Souichi's mouth, the man gagged but kept drinking until his little brother let up.

"So, what happened?"

Not making eye contact he said "Wha'dya mean? Noth'n 'appened." The scientist words slurred from the alcohol ratio in his body.

"Don't you lie to me Souichi! Where's Morinaga?" Tomoe saw his brother flinch at the mention of the dark haired mans name.

"Why isn't he here?" Again, Souichi started to shake.

'_Okay, I think I know what happened, but Ill still keep teasing him. I usually never get the chance.'_

"What did you do-?"

Originally facing downward, Souichi's head sprung up, "I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" tears hi Tomoe's face. His brother was actually crying.

"He… he just left! For no reason! He just got up, took his stuff, and left in the middle of the night! And ya know what-?" Souichi threw the piece of paper onto the floor, " He just left me a damn note! Didn't even… tell me… to my… face." His words started to slow down as the sobs overtook his voice.

'_My god, to think someone made him this upset. He wasn't even this devastated when mom died.' _

"Well, then I'll be reading this." Not getting a response, he picked up the paper as his brother cried.

'What the hell did he do to Morinaga?" Tomoe was surprised after reading the note.

"W… what did you do?"

"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!"

"Souichi! Do you want Morinaga back?"

Frozen, Souichi had given up on the idea of getting Morinaga back.

"Do you?"

"…. Yah." He mumbled.

"Then you have to tell me what happened the night before he left. And what's he mean 'leaving without telling you this time?' Has this happened before?"

Souichi reluctantly explained the story, his brother also cried, and Souichi got hit many times, but his brothers 'punches' didn't really affect him.

"Why didn't you tell him? Look what happened!"

"I KNOW! I know that know! I've learned!"

Sniffling Tomoe said, "Are you sure? If you aren't you'll be dumped, are you gonna do whatever it takes?"

"But I can't find 'im."

"Well where would you go if you left?

"Well… family, but Morinaga isn't close with his family… so he'd go to a friend's house… But I've already asked all his friends at school!"

"Okay, well how about other people, outside school?"

Souichi's eyes widened, then he lowered his head and slowly said, "Hir… Hiroto."

_**

* * *

OMG! Morinaga had sex with Hiroto! And he gave up on happiness!  
**_

_**Will Souichi be able to save his soul from the grasp of despair? You'll see soon. **_

_**Hehe, so did you guy's like it?**_

_**I'll have the next chapter out pretty soon sense my school just got out for vacation.**_

_**Please R&R!**_


	6. Where's Morinaga?

**Chapter 6**

"Ah! Found it!" Tomoe said excitingly.

"Really? Le'me see!" Souichi put the phonebook he was searching through and rushed over.

"Yah… lets try it out." Resolved, the two ran out of the apartment with the torn piece of phonebook paper, carefully reading the address.

For the past hour, the two had been looking for the bartender's information; the only thing was they didn't really know where to start. They searched online first, but not before a ridiculous argument. The only thing they found was his workplace, but upon calling, the boss said he couldn't give out employee information, and the man took a sick day. The next step was to check phonebooks, but because Hiroto was a common name, it took some time to shift through the area codes and addresses; it couldn't be too far away because the bar was nearby the apartment.

"Hey, should we have called first?' Tomoe asked, looking at the street number.

"No, then Morinaga might run, and then I'd have to kill him." Souichi announced. His brother stared at him with a disappointed look, they were trying to find him, not kill the guy… at least that's what he thought. Going over the situation in his head it didn't look good:

They find Morinaga.

He's in another mans apartment. (which may be misunderstood)

Souichi's emotions overcome him and he beats the shit out of Morinaga for leaving

Hiroto calls the police.

His brother is arrested for attempted murder.

'… _This… might not turn out to well.'_

Knocking on the door, Souichi awaited an answer. Standing still, twitching his fingers, his eyes darting to every corner of the wooden door, watching for any movement.

Finally moving, it slightly startling the man. The door opened a few inches, then came to an abrupt halt as the apartment's chain lock kept it in place.

"Hello-?" upon seeing Souichi's face Hiroto became intrigued, "Um… what are you doing here?"

"Is Morinaga here?" Souichi was eager, but afraid, _'What if he wasn't there? Where did he go? Would I… ever see him again?'_ Questions darted through his mind.

'_Lets… mess with him a bit…'_ Hiroto thought before responding, "Morinaga… you mean… you didn't hear?"

"Hear what?" _'Did he not come here… or even worse… leave the country?'_

"He… he's dead." Fake concern and distress crossed the mans face as he acted, waiting for the others reaction. He planed to see Souichi go into a rage, saying things like _'Where is his body? I'm gonna go revive him and kill him again!'_ or at least, that's all he could imagination after Morinaga's tales of the blond.

But instead, Hiroto got a… unexpected reaction.

The scientist started shivering; his left hand grabbed the right sides shoulder, while his right hand covered his mouth. Stumbling back, Souichi hit the wall, giving him support to stand.

"No way… there's no way… a guy like him could… just go and die… so silently like that…" Liquid poured from his eyes.

"Nii-san." The boy ran over to comfort the now cowering man.

"Right Tomoe? He was too… to die that quick. The second I let my eye off him… that idiot… THAT IDIOT!"

'_H-Holy crap… no way. Maybe he… really does care about Morinaga… better tell him before he kills someone…'_

"Sorry to interrupt... but-."

"What the fuck do you want?" Souichi turned from sad to furious in a second.

"This… this is all you're fault! You… you're the reason he left!" Within the blink of an eye, Souichi was in front of Hiroto, choking him.

Tears still running down his cheeks, he whispered demonically, "Maybe if you die… he'll come back to me… An eye for an eye… right?"

XxxxxXxxxXxxXx

"Singapore Sling please." Morinaga asked as he sat down at yet another gay bar. The sixth one this week, sometimes he'd only pick up one guy, others he'd get at many as three.

"Got a sweet tooth eh?" The man asked, getting out the syrup, gin, sweet and sour mix, club soda, and the cherry brandy needed for the drink.

"Sorta." Scoping the room, Morinaga looked for his… acquired taste. For the past few days he had been picking the same sex with either blond hair or glasses. Tonight seemed to be his night, Morinaga's jaw almost dropped as he saw the perfect specimen.

It was almost like Souichi had a twin, long blond hair, slim facial features, hazel eyes, everything was there… except the glasses, but that was no matter.

The bartender placed the glass on the table, upholding Morinaga's thoughts.

"You eye'n Iruki? He's pretty popular here."

"Yah… he looks just like… someone I use to know. Anyway… do you know anything about him?"

"Ha. Well, he's a playboy. I think he's been with… 80% of the guys here."

"That's quite a rap sheet. I guess I'll go with the flow, test out the popular goods myself." Stepping out of the chair, Morinaga pulled up his pants, fixed his hair and picked up his newly made drink. Taking a sip, he shivered, "Mmmmm, that's some good stuff. Okay, wish me luck." Smiling, he walked over and introduced himself by sitting next to the copy of his affections.

"Ya, you have fun with that buddy…" Sighing, the bar keep went back to cleaning his cups

"Hi, I'm Morinaga, I heard your name is Iruki, right?" Sitting down, ne placed his hand on the others knee, waiting for a response.

Turning his head, Iruki checked the new guy out; he'd never reeled in a guy like him before. Smiling he responded, "Yah… that's right."

"Cool. Hey, you wanna get drunk off your ass and fuck?" Morinaga said, with no hint of embarrassment in his voice.

Surprised at Morinaga's bluntness, Iruki laughed, "No… No one has ever been that strait forward to me before. Okay, you're on." Picking up his own glass, filled halfway with Yeager, he toasted with the dark haired man, "May the night be… unproductive."

"Ha, depends on what you see as productive." Taking his own glass, Morinaga chugged it down, and called the bar keep for another round.

* * *

**WAAAHH! Im sorry for not updating recently, but I didn't really know what to do so… this happened. Sorry its kinda short. **

**Oh no! is Souichi gonna kill Hiroto? I sure hope not… (evil laugh)**

**Did you like the bar scene? I always wanted to see what Morinaga would be like if he was single in a bar, so I decided it would be like this. **

**Ha, I don't really now what color Souichi's eyes are, never said anything from the manga, so I had to guess from watching the ova's (by the way, aren't they great? Hope they come out with a third one!)**

**Im thinking of drawing a dj of this, if you like the idea, please tell me! I dont want to spend all the time drawing if no one is gonna read it :(  
**

**Please Review!**


	7. Sould I stay with him?

School, friends, me being lazy, life. Nuff said. (did that sound cool… it was suppose to sound cool.)

* * *

"Haha nice pad." Morinaga complimented .

"You from the 70's? Yah, I do pretty well." Walking over to the kitchen he invited Morinaga in. Opening the liquor cabinet he asked, "Wanna continue where we left off?"

"Na, I'm liquored up enough… but… moving on wouldn't be bad…" Walking over, Morinaga brushed his right hand along the mans hip, while wrapping the other around his slim waist.

"Yah... that wouldn't be bad…" turning his head around, Iruki cupped Morinagas cheek, and started a deep kiss.

'…_Kiss? Well…' _Suddenly Souichi's face came to Morinagas mind_, 'N-no!'_ Drawing away from the tongue contact, he started with the foreplay before any questions could be asked.

'_Why?'_ As he continued with the foreplay, all that he could think about was Souichi.

'_Why?'_ Throughout the entire experience, eh could only notice the differences between hi ex lover and Iruki.

'_Why can't I just-_'Stopping himself from moaning out the scientists name, he buried hi head in pale skin leaving deep hickeys as they came to a climax.

'_-forget about him?'_

20 minutes later…

"So…" Iruki said leisurely sitting on the bed a white robe tangle along his body, while drinking water, "What's your story?

"W… what?" Morinaga didn't understand why he was asking the question. Stepping into his pants, he turned around to address the look alike.

"You seemed pretty use to the crowd… but to me you seem like… the romantic type. Yet, you were bar hoping, and picking up the best guys for a one night stand… cuz I knew…hmm… you get the point. So, what's your background? Did ya just get dumped or something?"

Once Iruki saw Morinaga twitch at the last sentence, he laughed.

"Hit the nail on the head right?"

Sitting up, Iruki strolled over, and rapped his arms around Morinagas neck in a caring but seductive way.

"What happened?"

"Its… not something to talk about with a one night stand… right?"

"Well, it doesn't have to be like that… I like you Morinaga…"

XxxxxXxxxXxxXx

"NII-SAN!" Souichi's brother Tomoe screamed, trying to pull the crazed man off of his victim.

"But… Morinaga! He Knows! HE KNOWS AND HES NOT TELLING ME!" Souichi yelled to his brother, still taking the breath of the bartender.

"If you kill him, he wont be able to tell you where he is!" _'Plus… you would be sent to jail.'_

"Grrr." Unlatching, Souichi threw Hiroki to the wall and said with a dead stare, "Tell me where he is NOW!"

"I-I DONT KNOW! But… he's been freelancing around some gay bars near here… if your gonna find him… start looking there." Hiroki said, still catching his breath.

Once he had gotten half way threw the sentence, Souichi was gone, with his brother steadily following behind.

XxxxxXxxxXxxXx

"You… want to be lovers?" Morinaga asked, slightly stunned.

"Yah, why not? Life is too short after all and, when I see something I like… I take it."

'_He's the exact opposite…' _

Starting to fondle the body he was rapped around Iruki whispered into his ear, "What do ya think?"

'_Why did I pick him?... well if he was the same as Souichi, then he would just reject me… like him. So… the opposite is… good?' _

"Okay…" Turning around, Morinaga latched onto Iruki like a scared child looking to its mother for comfort.

'_I'll forget about him… start a new life… a new lover… even if they look the same… I… have to forget about him.' _

"Your right… life is to short… to worry about one person…" Morinaga dug his head into shoulder. '_I've already wasted 6 years… 6 miserable yours… its time to stop.'

* * *

_

_**Sorry its kinda short… but at least its something… I couldn't really think of the next step. **_

_**But, if you still want more, I made a manga of the first 1 ½ chapters. **_

_**Its kinda amateurish, some of the pictures are really good, which surprised me.**_

.com/watch?v=IhNL83DkNYk

_**May look a little strange, but that's because I don't know where to get those sheets where you… put them on and then cut off the section you don't want. So I did the coloring on the computer. **_


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